You Do The Math - Paper or Plastic or Plastic?

In our not-so-distant past, grocery shoppers used whatever they could, from wooden boxes to canvas bags to cotton sacks. All of these were:
1) bio-degradable
2) non-toxic
3) compost friendly
4) made from renewable resources
5) carbon neutral (in the long run)
6) made locally or regionally



For some reason, that wasn't good enough. Who the heck wants to carry empty bags to the store?



We switched to disposable paper bags. These were cheap and waiting for us at the checkout. (And still are.) They are:
1) bio-degradable
2) non-toxic
3) compost friendly
4) made from a renewable resource (trees)
5) carbon neutral (in the long run)
6) made locally or regionally

But, that wasn't good enough. They became soggy and fell apart in the rain or if your chicken leaked. Even when dry, they could only be re-used a few times. And who would re-use them when a free bag was waiting for you at the store?



Many years ago the solution to the paper bag was a plastic bag. It was:
1) environmentally persistent (barely bio-degradable)
2) toxic (heavy metals and radioactive elements)
3) not compost friendly
4) made from crude oil, a non-renewable resource
5) anti-carbon-sequestering
6) transported globally



Not only that, but plastic bags are easily blown away in the wind, and nobody cares, they cost 3 cents each. They litter our roads, rivers and oceans, are eaten by sea turtles, can strangle wild critters, can suffocate children, and last for dozens of years before they break down into small pieces that we no longer notice, but pose an even greater health hazard, being toxic and impossibly small to clean up, even microscopic.

Now we are trying to get everyone to switch to Earth friendly bags.



They are:
1) environmentally persistent (barely bio-degradable)
2) toxic (heavy metals and radioactive elements)
3) not compost friendly
4) made from crude oil, a non-renewable resource
5) anti-carbon-sequestering
6) transported globally



Basically, they are the same as the old plastic bags. They ARE plastic bags! Child-suffocating, turtle-colon-killing, crude-oil-derived, evil bags.



And the bags made from plastic AND aluminum aren't even recyclable, unless you like to disassemble things before recycling, Mr. Ed Begley Jr.



However, they cost a dollar or two, so you HAVE to re-use them. Who can afford to throw away a few dollars each trip to the store? Lot's of us, really. Ever notice that larger sized containers actually cost more dollars per ounce these days?



Anyway, these new plastic bags are much more substantial than the old plastic bags. We'll call the old bags "plastic bags classic" to ease our discussion. The 3 new bags that I weighed were 1.2 ounces, 2.9 ounces and 4.3 ounces. Compare that to a classic bag that weighs 0.2 ounces.



So, the average new plastic bag weighs 2.8 ounces, equal to 14 classic plastic bags. So, they must last 14 times longer, or carry 14 times as many groceries, just to break even. If you can remember to bring them into the store, you have to use them once a week for 3.5 months.





Since the new plastic bags are much heavier, they don't easily blow away in the wind. Some of them are much larger, and can carry 15 pounds of groceries at a time (as if any seniors or ladies want that), and have teensy little handles that never break (in your dreams). You still need to carry a dozen of them into the store if you want to buy a cart-load of groceries. We'll refer to these as "plastic bags stupid".



Does this issue really even matter in the big picture? In terms of energy savings, it doesn't matter a bit. A gallon of gas weighs 6 pounds, and is:
1) toxic (heavy metals and radioactive elements)
2) not compost friendly
3) made from crude oil, a non-renewable resource
4) anti-carbon-sequestering
5) transported globally



Since 5 classic plastic bags weigh 1 ounce, and there are 16 ounces per pound, and 6 pounds per gallon, then a gallon of gas is equal to 480 plastic bags. If you parents out there use 14 bags per trip to the store, one trip per week, then 480 bags will last you over 34 weeks. That's equal to a typical pregnancy. And you know how long THAT lasted.

If you single dudes only need 6 bags a week, then the 480 bags last you 80 weeks, or just over 1.5 years. That's long enough for a CD to mature, which you can then cash in for a Jet Ski. So great to be single.



So, a gallon of gas is equal to 480 bags. How hard is it to save a gallon of gas per year? As easy as:

1) riding a bicycle a couple times a year for errands
2) riding a motorcycle to and from work once a year, if you normally drive a pickup, van or SUV
3) riding a motorcycle 2 or 3 times a year, if you normally drive a car
4) driving a car several times a year to work, if you normally drive a pickup, van or SUV
5) taking public transportation a few times a year will also save a gallon

So, my point is, to save resources, such as energy resources, then "plastic bags stupid" is about as smart a choice as unplugging your cell phone charger when not in use. Don't get me started on that. (Simply read my blog below.)